It's been a while since I've blogged actively and since I've aired the stuff I've been bottling up for a while. Sure, it's been on private elsewhere, but that's been on hiatus as well. So perhaps it's time to get some views aired again.

School has been, by far, the most hectic I've ever experienced. Unparalleled chaos this semester, with 5 group projects, 6 design assignments, a storybook, a portfolio, weekly tutorial assignments, a short film, a food journal, term paper, and I'm sure I forgot some other things that were due. OMG, there was so little air to breathe, I have no idea how I made it out alive. But I did, and the oddest thing?


This is the semester with the greatest sense of achievement.

That I managed to balance an insane amount of school, with friends, old and new, and family, and still manage to score several As.

That I managed to leave a dead relationship and survive the aftermath - even that I managed to recover within the span of 2 weeks. I don't know why I hung on for 4.5 years, why I didn't leave like I wanted to, but it was better the way it ended - I needed to feel the hurt, and to be dealt those wounds, in order to learn how to heal. And I can safely say, I've emerged the stronger one. I don't need to depend on someone else for my happiness; happiness is what you make it to be.. and the harder you go searching for it, the more elusive it gets.

Not only did I have deal with failed relationships, I had to deal with retarded failed friendships, people who left, leaving the door open and the cold, salty breeze kicking in while my other wounds were still wide open. People who passed judgments. But it's only served to make me stronger, and to take a step back before I take a step forward.


2010's drawing to a close very soon. Yes, we still have a month and a half to go. But I'm pretty sure it'll pass before I notice. It'll be Christmas again, another scarce Christmas, most probably. But we'll be happy like we always are. I'm thankful for what I have, and not having things others have only makes me appreciate the things I have way more.

So what if I don't have a fancy camera? I remember the way things look, the way the ones I love look, and it's preserved in my memory far longer than a picture possibly can last without fading.
So what if I don't have fancy clothes? I'm comfortable in my own skin.
So what if I don't have the money to eat all the fancy foods I want to try? Homecooked food, still the best (and helps save those calories, too)

One day I'll have all the material things I could possibly want, but I'll never forget the days I had nothing. These are the days when everything you want is a dream away, out of reach. But perhaps it's tastier when the things you want are out of reach. Because once you're in a position to grab them freely... they hardly mean the same things as when they were out of reach.


2010 has messed me up. But it's also made me so much stronger.