Current fascination with yellow nails. Yum yum.

Talking with the girls the other day had me thinking. She wants to change herself to find a man, and he wants to become someone else for a girl.

Become more 淑女, become more skanky, show more skin, show less skin, be more happy, blah blah blah.

So many attempt to be more 淑女. Thinking that the guy would really prefer that kind of demure demeanor. Perhaps so. Perhaps it's society's codes that make us think this way. Society - or rather, male society, who still hold power anyway; gender equality my foot - still dictates that the female should be subservient in a relationship. Any kind of relationship, working, friendship, romantic etc. Not overtly stated anymore, these rules, but they still exist.

In other words, we're still expected to be demure little girls. And honestly, I think we should be. But only to the right person. Only if you feel that he deserves your respect and attention. But not that we should change our entire personalities - what I'm saying is we should be loving to who we're with. You shouldn't act like a complete chor lor domineering bitch around your s.o., right?? -_-

And I don't know whether the fact that I believe that means I'm conforming to societal expectations. Damn.


The debate never really ends, does it? Why would you change yourself, change who you are, for someone else? Unless the process itself is natural, or done to avoid some catastrophic results, why do so many girls subscribe to the belief that they have to change themselves in order to be loved?

Shouldn't it be that to be loved, you have to love yourself first? And the first step to loving yourself is accepting yourself as you are, right.

Unfortunately, I think all of us have felt this way at least once in our lives, when dealing with people we've incredibly infatuated with. You think, I'll mold myself into someone else for this person, and we'll live happily ever after. But the truth is, if they can't accept you for who you are, and when you're at your worst, then why bother? Eventually they'll grow tired of the pretense. You'll grow tired of the pretense.

I guess it's pretty tempting to change yourself completely, physically, emotionally, or otherwise. And in some cases, perhaps this is the easier way out. Hide your flaws, hide your emotions, hide everything, and show them a porcelain mask that is a picture of beauty and class and elegance.

But nobody wants to love a cold, emotionless shell.. do they?